When you don’t accept a breakup.

When you don’t accept a breakup.

In my youth I was always in a relationship going through plenty of breakups. What I’ve learned is when you don’t accept the breakup, you’re only stalling your healing. I’ve learned that when I didn’t accept the breakup that I was missing out on life. I was too busy hurting and wanting things to go back to the way they were before the breakup. It just didn’t feel real. Why would someone want to break up with me when I have been nothing but kind and loving to them? All these why the breakup question lived in my head 24/7. It made me think the breakup was an accident. All this did was make my healing longer and made my hurt worse. This is why you should accept a breakup. Don’t hold onto hope or obsess trying to make the breakup look like a mistake. Just accept it and focus on your healing. Life too short to walk around not accepting a breakup. No matter how much it hurts to accept the breakup it’s the only thing to do so you can free yourself so you can heal and become a stronger person. Don’t be afraid to accept a breakup. It doesn’t make you less of a person. It shows you’re mature enough to accept what isn’t meant to be.

This is what happens when you let your whole world revolve around your boyfriend/girlfriend.

This is what happens when you let your whole world revolve around your boyfriend/girlfriend.

You lose your friends. Your friends realize that you don’t value their time, so they stop coming around as they think you too busy with your partner.

Your partner has full control of the relationship including your emotions. For example, when they don’t want to make time for you it makes you crazy.

You never really get the chance to see who you truly are because you are too busy focused on the relationship.

You sit around waiting for that call or txt from your partner rather than living life.

You lose track of your health physically and mentally because you’re to worried about the relationship and want to focus on it.

Social gatherings don’t mean anything if your partner is not with you.

Your partner will feel like you’re to much for the relationship.Take it from me as in my youth this was how I was until I got hurt to the point of not caring about relationships anymore. So please don’t let your whole world revolve around relationships. Just focus on yourself.

Don’t let your whole world revolve around relationships. Take it from me as I was that girl. All my youth all I cared about was stupid relationships. If I wasn’t in a relationship, I wouldn’t be happy. I had to be in one. I had to be some guy's girl pleasing him in any way I could. I literally abandoned my friends, my family, and my potential future for a guy. I did whatever the guy wanted just to keep him because I was afraid of being alone and what people would think if I wasn’t in a relationship. Then after years of being in and out of relationships and being used and hurt here I am at 40 years old with no relationship finally learning that there is more to life than relationships. I’m also learning more about myself and my potential. I’m coming out of my shell. No more sitting Infront of my computer or phone hoping some guy will text me wanting to take me out. It feels great letting go of relationships and just focusing on myself and my growth.  

I texted my ex now I regret it?

I texted my ex saying that I miss him. It was just a spur of the moment thing. I told him I understand why we can't be together anymore but I still miss him regardless. I felt so embarrassed that I deleted the message but he had already seen it. I apologized for sending that message and he said he didn't know how to respond and that I shouldn't feel sorry for sending that. So yeah I feel like shit. I just hate that I'm going through

Op been there where your at with plenty of guys in my youth. I felt like shit as well and then felt stupid when the guy didn't respond. But you did nothing wrong we've all been there.

What caused you to break up with your partner even though the relationship was stable?

What caused you to break up with your partner even though the relationship was stable?

For me he wouldn't make time for me. No matter how much I communicated with him he just wouldn't do it. Would leave me on delivered for days. I finally just gave up.

When you grew up not knowing how to love yourself and now find yourself an adult.

When you grew up not knowing how to love yourself and now find yourself an adult.  

Its hard growing up being bullied by peers and even worse by siblings. Your self-esteem gets weak, and you don’t know how to love yourself. Next thing, you know you're an adult and don’t have a clue how to love yourself. You try relationships but not knowing how to love yourself you get depended on your partner to love you and not love yourself.  

This is why you should first before you even try dating learn to first love yourself. Here are some ways to try loving yourself. 

The phrase "Love yourself for what you are, don't hate yourself for what you aren't. Is a good thing to repeat to yourself. 

Taking yourself out to eat. 

Writing down all the positive things about yourself and knowing that some people don’t have some of the great things that you have about yourself. For example, if you’re a patient person realize that some people aren’t.  

Talk to yourself like you would your best friend. 

Show Gratitude your alive and breathing. 

Read self-help books. The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck is a great one. 

 

Do things for yourself such as taking care of yourself mentally and physically.  

 

Change your self-talk to positive 

 

Stop comparing yourself to others 

 

When you're met with hard times (a break up for example) be there for yourself like you would a friend, this will defiantly help you love yourself.  

 

Don't worry about others' opinions. You can’t control what they say or think so why let it bother you? 

 

Practice Self-Acceptance 

 

Be self-compassionate to yourself.  

 

 

 

 

Years of going through plenty of breakups in my youth. Here what not to do and what to do instead.

1. Begging won’t change anything. It is best to accept it to show your maturity. 

2. No crying. Instead, just walk away as soon as they say they want a breakup. 

3. No searching for some witch or magic person to bring your ex back. Instead, Google search ways to get through a breakup. 

4. Don’t do anything crazy for example speeding down the road crying like a baby asking why. Instead stay at home and try to process the breakup. 

5. Don’t ask about your ex through friends. Instead keep your ex out of the conversations. 

6. Don’t play sad breakup songs for long. Instead, only play them during the first week to get it all out.  

7. Don’t spend months hoping to get back together. Instead accept the breakup. The sooner you accept the faster you move on. 

8. No stocking them on social media. Instead take a break from social media. 

9. Don’t message or call them. Instead write on a piece of paper what you wish you can say and then burn it. 

10. Don’t go off on them after they break up with you. Instead wish them well and work on you. 

I am now 40 with years of experience with break ups. If I can survive all these break ups so can you guys.

1