I have no one to blame for the way my life is right now. I'm at a job making 11.50 an hour barely making it. I have $1200 saved in my emergency fund that I thought about putting on a down payment for a better more gas saving card and I get denied constantly from lenders. My credit is 612 but still the interest rates are high. I wished in my youth I'd worked on myself more. But no I sit on my ass and did nothing but go on stupid dating apps hoping to find Mr. Right and all I got out of that was being used and hurt. 

It's my fault for not trying to better myself in my youth. I had so much oppranties to do so. I wish I could just slap my younger self for being so naive. Yeah, I get it. I was young and shouldn't be so hard on myself but it still sucks being 40 at a job making 11.50 when I could be doing so much better had I focused on myself in my youth. And life now and days is hard. Everything is expensive.