I hate being lonely. I'm a 40 year old female never married and no kids. I do have friends and family who I spend time with. I have my hobbies. I keep myself busy as much as I can and keep my mind busy with reading since I love to read and learn new things. But it still doesn't take away the feelings of being lonely. What's worse is the feeling of being lonely comes on strong. It usually comes on strong at night when I'm laying in bed with no one beside me or when I wake up in the mornings with no "Good morning" text from anyone. 

I know I don't need anyone. That I can handle life alone but it doesn't take away the loneliness I feel. I know I've been with a man and without one. I remember at 27 I watched my boyfriend die of a heart attack in the ER and that made me feel like a widow which made me stronger. It helped me realize I can move on from a guy and keep on living with my life. So I know how to live without someone. I just wish I knew how to live a life always feeling lonely. 

I always imagine that I'd be married, with kids, and be a stay at home mom and housewife. Never imagine that I'd be this. Not complaining I mean I am blessed. I have my health physically and mentally, I have my family, and my freedom. I just wasn't expecting to be alone in life without a partner.