March 18

 March 18, 2025

Thank goodness I get paid tomorrow. Tired of having to dig into my emergency fund for gas. My job only pays me 11.50 but works me to death. The only good thing is the job keeps me busy. I'm always moving and on my feet. I also get in over 10,000 steps so I lose weight. Just wish the kitchen wasn't close by as they always offer me food and I have to watch what I eat. I need to be more mindful of what I eat. I'm getting older now as I'm turning 41 this summer so I definally have to take care of myself. Yes, I been a fitness and health junkie since I was 21 and kept it going but with me getting older I have to really be careful. And heart trouble runs in my family so I have to watch that. I also have to watch my mental health. I can tell the older I get the more I have to. If someone is toxic I cannot have them in my life because of my mental health. Never knew I'd be like this. Never knew I'd be looking out for my mental health. I've always toke thing so serious and let my OCD take full control of my mind. I'm tired of being the reason for my suffering. I'm learning to be mindful of my emotions and see them as just emotions nothing else then breathe and respond. Unfortunately, I'm learning that late in life. My mental health has toke it hard not knowing how to handle my emotions. My nerves are totally shoot. Yeah, my mental health has really caught up to me. Just wish I"d learn sooner in life this rather than at 40.