Never knew at 40

 Never knew being 40 years old, never married, no kids, at a low paying job would be this hard. Most people are married with kids and high paying job but silly me in my youth just chased relationships and didn't save money so now here I am at 40 with a low paying job that I hate. No one is hiring. The ones who are hiring is only PART TIME,  Not having a shoulder to cry on doesn't help so here I am blogging out my vent. 

Times like this I wish I was book smart. Not being smart sucks as an adult. Yeah, I know I am trying everything thats in my control yet it doesn't take away the feelings of being a loser or the feeling of being poor. But its my own fault for being naive in my youth and chasing guys rather than focusing on myself. I didn't know in my youth how much I'd regret it. I thought I'd be married with kids but guess not. Just wish life would let up and give me a break sometimes. I know life is full of test but after a while give me a break. 

How do you focus on yourself?

How do you focus on yourself?

When you been a people pleaser always being there for everyone except yourself and been hurt plenty of times by people you start getting tired of the outside and start focusing on the inside YOU.

Best things to do after a break up

Best things to do after a break up

I been through plenty of breakups in my youth and now. For God sakes please don't sit around waiting on them in denial, don't stare constantly at your phone hoping its them, don't watch their social media, don't call or text from other numbers, and these two important things I wish I'd done. DON'T BEG. KNOW YOUR WORTH. BEGGING JUST MAKES THEM MAD AND FEEL BAD FOR BREAKING UP WITH YOU. AND JUST FOCUS ON YOURSELF AND YOUR HEALING. Trust me going through a breakup is hard really hard alone which is why you need to be your best friend when going through a breakup.

What was your toughest moment and how did you overcome it?

What was your toughest moment and how did you overcome it?

For me. Watching my boyfriend have a heart attack in front of me in the ER when I was 27, next was 2 guys ghosted me only for me to find out threw Facebook that they married their ex and one of them got their ex pregnant while seeing me. But karma came around both those guys ex left and they both came crying to me wanting to get back together which I was nice and talked with them ( such as I'm sorry that happen to you blah blah ) but said no thanks about getting back and wished them well. Last was when a friend and me got to playful and made out on my bday only for the dude to ghost me the next day after because of my ex and his sister getting into an argument. Overcame them all with acceptance, journaling, mindfulness, meditation, walks in nature, and deep breathing workouts. Good times good times lol

What NOT to do after they have ghosted you.

What not to do after they have ghosted you. 

1. Don’t think they accidentally ghosted. They meant it. Yes, people can be cruel and do such. 

2. Don’t sit around waiting thinking crazy thoughts such as, "He/She will get back to me their just busy”. They won’t.  

3. Don’t keep sending txt after txt. It will just annoy them and make them glad they ghosted you. 

4. Don’t obsess about what went wrong. It's not worth your mental health. 

5. Don't keep following them on social media. If they haven’t talked to you in 2 weeks, please unfollow them. 

6. Just because they are active on social media doesn’t mean they will text you because you’re active on social media as well. They won’t. 

7. Don’t keep staring at your phone hoping the next notification is them.  

8. Don’t go online asking psychics if your former friend, date, ex will reappear.  

9. Don’t try and pay a supposed spellcaster online to bring them back.  

10. Don’t let your whole world revolve around this ghosting thing. Accept it and move on.  

What NOT to Do Right After a Breakup (6 Mistakes to Avoid)

What NOT to Do Right After a Breakup (6 Mistakes to Avoid) 

1. Don’t blow their phone up with calls and texts. Go NO CONTACT immediately for your own sake. 

2. Don’t go to their house banging on their door hoping to talk. After a breakup emotions are high and seeing each other would make things worse.  

3. Don’t threaten suicide. That will only show your mental health is in danger. 

4. Don’t post bad things about your ex. Example, “My ex is a jerk” or “She was nothing but a hoe”.  

5. Don’t sit and stare at your phone for hours hoping for a txt or phone call from them. 

6. Don’t pay someone online claiming to be a witch saying they will bring your ex back as they won’t.  

When he says he's interested in you but won't make time

When he says he's interested in you but won't make time please for God's sake don't do what I did.

1. Don't think he'll come around because he won't.

2. His actions never lie.

3. Don't live in the past ( when you first met him and things were great ) as that will keep you stuck.

4. Don't think,"But I invested so much time in him". This is a sunk cost, sometimes called a retrospective cost, refers to an investment already incurred that can't be recovered. 

5. Don't blame yourself. You did everything you could for him.

6. Don't cause unnecessary stress wondering why or what you did wrong. Remember pain is inevitable suffering is optional.

7. Don't sit there staring at your phone hoping he'll call or text. He won't.

Remember if someone is into you their going to make time for you not make excuses.